When to Use Animal Communication & How Can It Help?

by Teresa Wagner

The reasons people want to talk with their animals vary. Some of the situations in which many people have found it helpful to talk with their animals with the assistance of an animal communication include:

• Discovering what your animals are thinking & feeling
• Deepening your understanding, intimacy and sacred bond with animals
• Understanding how your animals view their lives: their life purpose, and everyday likes and preferences and needs
• Understand how your animals view your relationship: the purpose of your coming together, what means the most to them; any past life issues relevant to the present
• Discovering the causes of and resolving behavioral problems
• Understanding emotional issues such as fear, aggression, withdrawal, depression etc.
• Helping to heal trauma, such as from injury, illness, death or grief
• Helping rescue animals to: understand sheltering and fostering; identify what they want in a new home (i.e. kids, other animals, gender preferences); adjust to new family and home; heal from neglect, abuse and abandonment
• Understanding animals' view and experiences of illness and health problems; preparing an animal for surgery or other medical interventions
• Supporting and understanding your animals' needs through death and dying
• After death communication with the Spirit of your animal
• Understanding and support through reincarnation reunions
• Supporting and understanding your animals' needs through grief and anticipatory grief regarding death of other family members (animals grieve the death of animals and humans too!)
• Helping your animals understand family structure changes: new arrivals of animals or humans; discussing your animals' needs before adding a new animal family member; departures of animals or humans through divorce, separation, etc.
• Travel and moving: helping animals understand that their humans will return from business trips and vacations and who will care for them, reducing or preventing separation anxiety; showing them "pictures" of a new home beforehand, including any important physical boundaries concerns.

Using Animal Communication to Help with Behavior Problems

Everyone's tolerance level for certain behaviors varies--and that's OK. However, in attempting to work out behavioral problems it's very important to be clear about our boundaries, and to give on-going, careful consideration to what we can live with and what we cannot. For our animals to be able to meet our expectations, we must communicate clearly with them. At the same time, it helps to be open to the ideas, needs and requests your animal may reveal, and to be willing to express empathy for their reasons for doing what they're doing, even when we can't condone the behavior.

My stance is not to "take a side" and lecture your animal about what they are doing that is unacceptable to you, or to lecture you about how you might not be meeting your animal's needs. Rather, as in the process of mediation, my goal is to help both you and your animal clearly understand each others' positions and feelings regarding the problem, to be sure everyone involved understands how the problem impacts everyone else, to identify the deepest known root cause of the problem, and to help negotiate solutions. Though each situation varies, a typical consultation about a behavioral problem progresses with these elements:

• First, I will ask you to define the problem as specifically as possible from your perspective: Exactly what is your animal doing or not doing that is unacceptable to you? Why is it unacceptable? I have found that it is equally important to explain the "why" of the problem as it is to define "what" it is. Telling them "why" helps them understand what you value, and often makes their choice to support you and what is important to you easier. For instance, each human whose cat is going out of the box may have a different reason why this is not acceptable to them. One person might not be able to stand the smell while another might resent the work of clean up. Another person might be concerned about the cost of replacing carpet and yet another might not care about any of these, but may be concerned that her spouse is threatening to give the cat away if it doesn't stop. So you see, it is critical to communicate to our animals not only the "what" of a behavioral problem, but "why" it's important to us. It helps give them a better understanding of our needs and the human culture we are asking them to adapt to, and often increases their motivation to make the changes we ask for.

• Once I understand the problem from your perspective, I then translate your specific concerns to your animal, taking care to be sure they absolutely understand the what and why of behavior that is undesirable to you. Then I listen for or probe for their response or reaction.

• If their reaction doesn't easily and quickly reveal the reason for their behavior, then I use clear but gently probing questions with them to identify the deepest level root cause (that they are aware of) about why they are doing what they're doing. Sometimes this is accomplished quickly, especially when the root cause is something easy to remedy in the physical world (i.e. "I don't like the smell of the new litter; please can we go back to the old kind.") Other times, it can be very complex and involve long-standing, deep seated emotional issues-- either within your animal, or perhaps involving your animal and other human or animal family members. Sometimes there are past life issues connected to the current problem and your animal may want to explain the related issues and lessons they are struggling with. The more complex the issues, the more time it can take for discussion. It is a precious gift to learn the root cause of what is creating emotional pain or imbalance for someone we love. It gives us the opportunity to empathize, and to truly collaborate in resolving the problem with clarity and compassion. Finding the root cause of the problem is extremely important and an absolute prerequisite to negotiating successful solutions. Attempting to work out solutions without awareness of the cause of the problem is futile. To simply tell an animal to do what you want them to do without explaining why, or without soliciting their reasons for doing what they do, will usually not result in long term change (any more than it would with a child or spouse.)

• With the root cause identified, we can then brainstorm, discuss and negotiate solutions that are workable for both parties. This might also be a time to discuss possible consequences (e.g. "if you don't stop pulling at the leash every time we take a walk, which you now know hurts my arm, we won't go swimming in the lake".) As important as it is to be sensitive to our animals' needs, it's also important to be clear about our own needs and boundaries--what we can live with or not. Being honest and clear about our needs, and compassionate and empathic about their needs, can go along way toward developing and agreeing on reasonable solutions.

Please Note: If you have been experiencing serious, long-standing problems, please do not assume that there will be immediate and lasting change from one session. Just as we wouldn't expect therapy for a deep-seated problem with our human child to produce an immediate and lasting change from one session, working with our animal's behavior can also take time. Further sessions, and/or support for their expected behavior change, such as dog training or flower essences, may be needed. Though I can guarantee opening lines of communication and clarifying the issues between you, I cannot guarantee that your animal will change his or her behavior. However, when the root cause of the problem is exposed in a session, when both human and animal sincerely agree on solutions and follow through on commitments made during the session, change can occur very quickly. Please be assured I am very committed to helping you reach acceptable and lasting solutions.

Using Animal Communication to Help with Death and Dying

Losing an animal loved one can be one of the most painful experiences of our lives. Conversing with our animals telepathically when they are ill, dying, or after their death can help ease that pain by helping us know what they want, assuring us that we are making informed decisions about critical issues.

When an animal is gravely ill, many people find it very useful to discuss the following kind of information:

• Asking if there is anything else that might be done to make the animal more comfortable
• Explaining treatment options and their ramifications (i.e. surgeries, chemo, holistic approaches) and asking for the animals' input, preferences or choices
• Asking the animals' preference about leaving their body on their own when the time for death comes, or whether they would like or need help through euthanasia
• Asking the animal if they could give them a sign when they are ready or needing to leave their body. This is an important question to ask when the animal's physical condition is likely to create great pain or discomfort near the end. When both the animals and humans involved have chosen euthanasia, it can be extremely helpful for the humans to have this information about the "right time" for the animal to minimize physical or emotional pain.
• When decisions about life extending treatments or euthanasia are at hand, asking the animals to explain from their perspective what is a good "quality of life" for them. Animals are as different as humans in their opinions and desires for certain quality of life issues. Some animals don't want to live with any pain, while others are tolerant of a great deal of pain. Some animals are comfortable with living with greatly diminished physical capacities, while others might rather leave their bodies when, for instance, they are no longer able to walk. Talking with our animals about these critical choices takes the guess work out of what they feel and want.
• Asking animals if they have any preference about what is done with their remains:
  • Burial or cremation?
  • Placement of burial or ashes

After their animal's death, may people find it helpful to speak with them about these issues:

• What was it like for you near the end? Were you comfortable? Were you aware of all we were doing?
• When you died, did anyone meet you, help you, greet you. . . who was there?(Sometimes people ask certain beings to meet their animal, such as a Saint or animal or human loved one who has died, and take this opportunity to find out if those beings were there)
• Often people take this opportunity to express any regrets or issues they feel uncomfortable or guilty about.
• Express their deep love and gratitude for all that was shared
• Whether the animal is coming back (reincarnating), when, where, what species and particular form, and how they will find and know each other

Many people also take the opportunity to talk with surviving animals in the family to ask them how they might best be comforted in their grief, what they need or want. This is also a time people ask them if they want another animal to join the family.

To learn more about the value and experience of talking with the spirit of your animal loved ones you may want to read Journey of Souls or Talking To Heaven.You may also want to visit George Anderson's web site www.georgeanderson.com, or listen to Penelope Smith's audiotape Animal Death: A Spiritual Journey.

For further resources on grief support: Visit our sections on Comfort and Support in Your Time of Grief and Legacies of Love.

When not to Use Animal Communication

• As a Substitute for Veterinary Care: Animal communication can help us gain information about our animals' perspective of their physical health. It can help us get answers to questions about their physical symptoms, i.e. where in their body is the discomfort, is the discomfort shooting pain or more like an ache, is it chronic or situational? Though this type information can assist with veterinary care, animal communication should never be used instead of medical diagnosis or medical care. If your animal is physically ill, seek veterinary medical care.

• As a substitute for basic dog obedience training: Many clients will call an animal communicator about problems with dogs not following basic obedience commands. Animal communication can effectively supplement dog training by helping dogs understand why their people want and need them to do certain things. However, animal communication cannot replace the basic obedience training many dogs need. Dogs deserve our help to learn to live in our human homes and human culture, amidst our rules of what is acceptable and what is not. To learn these things for their safety and our peace of mind, dogs can benefit tremendously from the specialized help of a professional dog trainer. In fact, if more humans enlisted the help of dog trainers for these things, less dogs would be surrendered to shelters for "not being trained."
• To find a dog trainer near you who uses a humane, gentle, positive reinforcement style, who is very unlikely to subscribe to "choke and harm" methods of training, contact the following and ask for local references:
  • The Association of Pet Dog Trainers: www.apdt.com 800-738-3647
  • American Dog Trainers Network: www.inch.com/~dogs (see "Tips" on how to choose a dog trainer)
  • Your local SPCA
  • In California call Barbara Degroodt, From the Heart Dog Training 831-663-1675. Barbara travels throughout California for private dog training in your home. She also conducts classes in Salinas, CA. She is past president of The Association of Pet Dog Trainers.