by Teresa Wagner

I believe that the most effective, satisfactory and long lasting approach to healing grief is an integrative one ~ one that explores and may include traditional psychological support as well as embracing spirituality and other holistic modalities. A stubborn insistence by some that only one of these approaches leads to healing is futile. Each journey of grief is different, each griever's needs unique, and the resources most suited to help each of us varies. I think it's also important to remember that however thorough and integrative our healing efforts, no flower essence, spiritual belief system or the most loving support in the world can take away the emotional pain of grief when our animals die. Loss and its subsequent pain are natural, inevitable experiences of life. Pain, however, does not have to include the quality of suffering. Suffering isn't necessary. Pain can be surrounded instead with the quality of quiet grace, allowing us the energy to embrace the rich opportunities loss offers us to learn, grow and transform. Flower essences help remove the element of suffering surrounding our grief and invite in the qualities of grace, learning and transformation. Unlike drugs, flower essences don't mask or suppress pain or other symptoms. They gently yet powerfully help us heal our pain, inviting in the grace and courage we need to do so.

I invite you to explore flower essences on these pages, and wish you the many blessings of healing they can bring you.

What You'll Find in This Section:

What are Flower Essences?

Flower Essences to Consider Taking for Grief

How to Use Flower Essences

Where to Buy Flower Essences

Further Resources to Learn More About Flower Essences

Flower Essence Books

What are Flower Essences?

Flower essences are gentle yet powerful liquid extracts of flowers, generally taken orally from glass dropper bottles, which assist in the healing of emotional and spiritual imbalances. For centuries, the healing properties of plants have been used in various forms to support the physical, emotional and spiritual health of humans and animals: Herbs and herbal tinctures are typically used to support physical health, using any or all parts of plants including leaves, roots, stems and sometimes flowers. Aromatherapy, typically in the form of essential oils, utilizes the fragrance of plants to help us balance physical and emotional issues through our sense of smell. Flower essences are different from both of these in that only the flower of the plant is utilized, there is no scent, and they assist primarily with the healing of emotional and spiritual imbalances, versus the physical.

We are very fortunate to be living in a time when thousands of essences are available for our use. Though Dr. Edward Bach pioneered the use of the well known Bach flower essences in the 1930's in England, in more recent years dozens of others have developed flower essences in various parts of the world. Because I have studied the essences from FES, Perelandra and Bach, I tend to recommend them the most.

Flower Essences to Consider Taking for Grief

There are dozens of flower essences available to help us with death and grief, made by quality people and organizations around the world. Please see our resource list for books, practitioners and classes for more information about these and other essences. And keep checking back to this section from time to time ~ we will inevitably add more essences about grief as we learn more.

To gain the greatest healing benefit from the flowers, carefully match your specific feelings or current state to the healing qualities of the essences described below (or in other literature). Sometimes, the feelings and "phases" of our grief will change from day to day, week to week. For greatest benefit, re-select essences to match your changing feelings and evolving process.

Rescue Remedy (also called Five Flower Formula), helps us feel stabilized when emotionally traumatized or overwhelmed. It's an excellent remedy to keep nearby in your pocket or purse during the most intense time of your grieving. Taking a few drops at those moments of panic, when we wonder how or if we will make it through, is very soothing and calming.

Brand: Rescue Remedy, Bach; Five Flower Formula, FES

Bleeding Heart helps us accept the change in form of a relationship, to let go, and release our attachment to the physical form of our animal loved one. It helps us accept that they have died, while still fully feeling the spiritual connection of love.

Brand: FES

Borage helps us overcome feelings of depression and heavy-heartedness from the death or impending death of a loved one. Borage gives us courage to face our grief, a sense of upliftment and buoyant hope to help us not get stuck in the weight of depression.

Brand: FES

Forget-Me-Not deepens our awareness of our spiritual connection with those who have physically died and helps us develop telepathic communication with them.

Brand: FES

Love Lies Bleeding helps us with profound feelings of melancholia and anguish, especially when the soul suffers privately and is cut off from others. It also helps us find transpersonal meaning from pain and suffering.

Madia and Honeysuckle can help us when we are having trouble getting back to functioning in our daily lives while grieving. Madia helps with focus and concentration (i.e. driving a car, carrying out work, home or family responsibilities), while honeysuckle helps us live in the here-and-now, helping us go on after death or loss.

Brand: Madia, FES; Honeysuckle Bach and FES

Mariposa Lily: Sometimes grief makes us feel cut off from love ~ our ability to ever love or be loved again in the way we have with the one who has died. Sometimes, too, we get stuck in our grief because we don't believe in our ability to love ourselves in the way our animal loved us. Mariposa Lily helps open our hearts to love, from the spirit of our animal, from others beings, and from ourselves.

Brand: FES

Star of Bethlehem, one of the essences in Five Flower Formula, is a deeply restorative remedy, bringing calm, soothing, healing qualities, comfort and reassurance from the spiritual world. Can be especially helpful when we feel in shock, or greatly overwhelmed.

Brand: Bach and FES

When we feel guilty: Red Chestnut is very helpful when we feel obsessive fear or worry that we have not done enough, that it's our job to save our animal and if we don't we've failed. It is also particularly helpful with rescue workers, or foster guardians, who feel they must "save them all" and feel guilty when they can't. Red Chestnut helps us let go of an over-exaggerated sense of obligation, or a drive to be heroic. White Chestnut is helpful in releasing anxious, repetitive thoughts such as "Oh my God, why didn't I...", or "If only I had done such and such." Pine helps us move from being stuck in self-blame, remorse or shame to a state of self-forgiveness and self- acceptance.

When we are having trouble accepting death and tragedy: Sagebrush helps us accept pain and emptiness of any kind of loss. Wild Rose helps us accept the tragic events of life especially when we feel a resigned, lack of hope. Chrysanthemum helps us accept the transitory nature of earthly life and helps us heal any fears and avoidance of physical death.

Brand: Sagebrush, FES; Wild Rose, Bach or FES; Chrysanthemum FES

When we are having difficulty expressing or releasing our feelings: Dandelion helps us release feelings of grief or pain are stuck in the body, often helpful when we know our emotions are making us feel tense in the body. Fuchsia helps us contact grief which may be repressed, perhaps when we long to express our feelings but are afraid of being overwhelmed by them. Golden Ear Drops helps us release tears of grief that may be held back. Can be especially helpful when our current loss is bringing up pain from past losses. Yerba Santa helps us build our capacity to express a full range of emotion, especially when pain has been internalized or constricted in the heart and chest area.

Brands: all FES

When we are feeling like we don't belong here without our animal, when we perhaps feel alienated in a world or culture which doesn't understand, accept or acknowledge the deep love we have for our animals, when we feel like we may not fit here, or have a place: Shooting Star helps us heal a profound feeling of alienation, especially not feeling at home on earth, nor a part of the human family. It can be especially helpful when we feel more a part of the animal kingdom than part of humanity. Sweet Pea: Whether primarily with humans or animals, we all need to feel we "belong" in a community, a family or place. This essence strengthens our deepest knowing that we each have a unique place of belonging on the earth and with other beings. It eases the sense of "homelessness" or "familyless-ness" often felt when a deeply beloved animal dies.

Brands: all FES

NOTE: For an extensive list of flower essences to help your animals, see Using Flower Essences to Supplement Animal Communication (coming in September)

How To Use Flower Essences

How much to take

Flower essences come in glass dropper bottles and are taken just a few drops at a time, typically under the tongue, about four times a day. Frequency of taking essences is much more important to their effectiveness than quantity. There is no possibility of "overdosing", because taking large doses of flower essences cannot hurt us. It is, however, a waste of the essence to down large quantities since only small amounts taken several times a day is all that is needed. When you feel particularly stressed, taking several drops every few minutes is helpful. You can also put a few drops in a glass of water and sip it over several hours.

There are no contraindications

Flower essences are powerful but very gentle. Taking them will not in any way impact other medications. There are no foods, liquids, traditional medicines or holistic remedies that must be avoided while taking flower essences.

They work powerfully, but more slowly than drugs

Be patient! Even though some essences such as Rescue Remedy and Five Flower Formula bring immediate relief and calm in crisis, please remember, these are not drugs designed to quickly mask symptoms. They are healers of root causes. It can take time before we feel change or see progress.

Where to Buy Flower Essences

Your local health food store

Flower Essence Pharmacy www.floweressences.com
You can buy over 7,000 flower essences representing many brands from around the world

Flower Essence Services (FES) www.flowersessence.com or 800-548-0075
You can buy both Bach (also called English Flowers) and FES essences from them

Desert Alchemy Flower Essences www.desert-alchemy.com or 520-325-1545

Anaflora www.anaflora.com
You can buy flower essences made especially for animals by animal communicator Sharon Callahan

Further Resources to Learn More About Flower Essences

Workshops and Articles

The World Wide Essence Society www.essences.com/wwes
You will find listings of workshops, practitioners, helpful articles and more

Raphaela Pope is an animal communicator who teaches classes in the use of flower essences with animals. www.mother.com/~raphaela

Flower Essence Practitioners

A flower essence practitioner is someone well versed and experienced in the particular qualities of flower essences to support and heal specific emotional and spiritual issues. If you are working with Teresa Wagner in private consultations, she will offer guidance and recommendations about flower essences for you or your animal as part of your session. However, if you are wanting to work with someone exclusively about flower essences, the following practitioner is highly recommended for both animal and human issues:

Judy Aizuss, M.S. 415-459-2383 or e-mail healmypet@aol.com
Judy has a Master's degree in Counseling Psychology, is a licensed Marriage, Family Therapist and is also a certified Meisterfeld Canine Behavior Consultant and Trainer. Her synthesis of expertise in flower essences and counseling gives her clients a great gift. That, combined with her deep love of animals make her the perfect flower essence practitioner to turn to when your animal communicator tells you that your animal's issue has been resolved as much as it can with "talking." Even though Teresa and other communicators are knowlegeable in flower essences and can recommend them during sessions, sometimes an in-depth session or two with Judy beyond that can powerfully supplement animal communication work.

Another highly qualified and sensitive flower essence practitioner who works with human issues:

Joyce Mason, Founder of Inner Growth Work www.innergrowthwork.com
phone: 916-315-9210 fax: 916-315-9211 email: InGrowthWk@aol.com
I studied flower essences with Joyce at FES many years ago. As a long time friend, colleague and client I can personally attest to her integrity and skills in helping in crisis and long term growth with flower essences, Motherpeace tarot, astrology and dreamwork. She has a gift of for presenting sacred and serene information as well as exploring deep issues with a healthy dose of fun and laughter. You will love working with her.

Flower Essence Books

1. Flower Essence Repertory, Patricia Kaminski, Richard Katz

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED An excellent resource describing FES essences in detail, referencing emotional and spiritual issues in need of support matched to flower essences. It is a book like this which allows anyone unversed in flower essences to use them effectively and confidently. Written by the founders of the Flower Essence Society and creators of FES essences.

2. The Alchemy of the Desert: A Comprehensive Guide to Desert Flower Essences for Professional and Self-help Use, Cynthia Athina Kemp Scherer

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. This book is formatted in a helpful encyclopedic manner, describing Desert Alchemy essences in detail, and referencing emotional and spiritual issues in need of support matched to flower essences. It is a book that helps anyone unversed in flower essences to use them effectively and confidently. Written by the creator of the Desert Alchemy flower essences.

3. Anaflora Flower Essence for Animals, Sharon Callahan ~ available from www.anaflora.com

4. Flower Remedies Handbook: Emotional Healing and Growth with Bach and Other Flower Essences, Donna Cunningham ~ HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

5. The Essence of Healing: A Guide to the Alaskan Flower, Gem, and Environmental Essences, Steve Johnson

6. Findhorn Flower Essences: Straight to the Heart of the Matter, Marion Leigh

7. Flower Essences: Reordering Our Understanding and Approach to Illness and Health, Machaelle Small Wright

(creator of Perelandra flower essences)

8. Flower Essences and Vibrational Healing, Gurudas

9. The Flower Remedy Book: A Comprehensive Guide to Over 700 Flower Essences, Jeffrey G. Shapiro

10. Treating Animal Illnesses & Emotional States with Flower Essence Remedies, Jessica Bear, Tricia Lewis

Back to Grief Support Resources Index

Why we deserve self nurturing and care

Grieving Choices: Deny, Cope or Heal

Why We Get Stuck in Grief

Twelve ideas on coping and finding comfort

Grief Support Resources

Flower Essences to Help Us Cope and Heal From Grief